The flood of news about the corona pandemic has troubled me and made me build a dam against it. It was a lot easier than I thought. In the end it was enough to read nothing and listen to nothing more. And already everything was fine, everything as before and I was able to do my work in peace and quiet and in good health.
Then yesterday, I went shopping the first time since a long rest at home and found myself in a strange, unknown world: People were masked, wearing plastic gloves and staring at me with fearful eyes and tried to keep a distance between me and them. I didn´t know how to behave. I decided to drove home into my world.
At home I closed windows and doors and rolled the shutters down. I was afraid that the outside world will penetrate and supplant my reality.
And than I looked for a way to find my peace again: I started to read old love letters.
The first letters I found were letters between me and Theresa that we wrote many years ago:
it is quiet - too quiet. The storms have calmed down and the wind only blows where no one notices. I fear for all the trees, the flowers and above all our two souls that hang there sadly and have no wind left to move them ...
My dear Beat
I am a butterfly but now I have to live underground, there I should dig passages and be diligent to find a door out. There is no need to see down there, and not to be colorful.
Handcuffs are forged around my joints and my soul.
Everything in me longs to play our game with you again – to love life and to live love!
I know, the earth fights for me and for life and for us.
My dear - be certain when you look up at the sky
and you choose a cloud - it is the one that I have sent you –
the one which I have shaped for you – with my loving fingers in the sky –
drawn and blown to you! Maybe she'll wear my face – and always –
always I am closer to you than you think.
Sometimes – you my beloved dream – sometimes you will turn around
and my shadow falls on you and the sun will make you happy again.
But if you think it´s night and you can´t find me – I didn't move!
I whisper in your ear give you a silky caressing smile
and ask you for the next dance!
(It was the last letter I got from Theresa)
I felt sad, went to bed and pulled the covers over my head. I tried to forget this unfriendly day and wanted to dive into a beautiful dream. But I sensed that my dreams, too, had fled underground, wore a mask, gloves and would distance themselves from me!