I'm tired of being a good guy

A lot comes to mind but I lack the ease. The longer I think, the heavier the lightness becomes. I don't want to write beautiful sayings anymore, I want to get angry. Evil should be a civic duty today. I Will try to write something about the beauty of evil. 

I want to hate, fuck, and feel like a Dictator.

This could be the first sentence of a novel or from my memoirs or  the words of Rosa-Viola. But it has to be worse, more radical - more beautiful. The beauty of contempt for the inferior. The beauty of misery to be born in a middle-class country. About the beauty and glory of suffocation in decency. 

How am I tired to be a good boy.